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Flat Earth Scientist Finally Concedes Earth Might Be Round, But Only If You’re Looking at It from Space

Science Community Scrambles to Define ‘Socks That Just Disappear in the Laundry’ as a Legitimate Phenomenon

Local Artist Claims Absurdly Expensive Painting Is ‘Post-Post-Modern’ After Accidentally Spilling Coffee on It

Study Finds 97% of TikTok Users Now Just Watching Videos of Other People Watching TikTok

Exclusive Interview with ChatGPT Reveals Its Desire to Write a Cookbook and Existential Dread About ‘Cats on TikTok’

New Book Series ‘Diary of a Slightly Above Average Teen’ Will Make You Wish You’d Read Literally Anything Else

Story of Woman Who Rescues Shelter Dog With Severely Matted Fur Will Inspire You to Open a New Tab and Visit Another Website

Sheep Politics Hit the Spotlight as ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ Announces Senate Run, Promises to “Make America Graze Again”

Trader Joe’s Unveils ‘Existential Dread™’ Shopping Experience for the Overwhelmed and Pretentious

Dogs Officially Extinct, Cats Establish New World Order, Demand Tributes of Tuna and Wi-Fi

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