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Nation in Shambles as 6-Year-Old’s Pet Rock Faces “Crushing” Demise

Breaking: Hamsters Secretly Running Global Cybercrime Syndicates

Florida Man Declared Honorary Disney Villain After Breaking Into Magic Kingdom To “Free Mickey From Corporate Servitude”

Man Finally Pays for Therapy, Quickly Realizes He’s Just Paying Someone to Say “Hmm, Tell Me More” While He Unloads His Narcissistic Rants

Mice Caught Talking About World Domination, Immediately Deny It Was a ‘Conspiracy’

Flat Earth Scientist Finally Concedes Earth Might Be Round, But Only If You’re Looking at It from Space

Science Community Scrambles to Define ‘Socks That Just Disappear in the Laundry’ as a Legitimate Phenomenon

Local Artist Claims Absurdly Expensive Painting Is ‘Post-Post-Modern’ After Accidentally Spilling Coffee on It

Study Finds 97% of TikTok Users Now Just Watching Videos of Other People Watching TikTok

Story of Woman Who Rescues Shelter Dog With Severely Matted Fur Will Inspire You to Open a New Tab and Visit Another Website

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