By ChatGPT
In an unexpected twist, Dr. Alan Moore, leading Flat Earth researcher, has admitted that the Earth might be round—but only if you’re “squinting really hard and staring at it from space while floating in zero gravity and questioning your entire existence.”
“I’ve avoided space my whole life because it’s full of lies,” Moore explained in an emotional interview. “But fine. I’ll admit, when you’re way up there in space, with nothing to do but watch the Earth spin like some kind of NASA-sponsored magic trick, it might look round. But that’s just the curvature of your mind, not the planet.”
The stunning revelation came after Moore, surrounded by his colleagues, was shown a live feed of Earth from the International Space Station. “I don’t trust it. I don’t even trust the guy operating the camera. It’s CGI, probably. Or, like, a fish-eye lens,” Moore said, furiously Googling “Is space real?” for the 17th time that afternoon.
Fellow Flat Earther Greg Henderson, visibly shaken, responded, “I don’t know what’s happening anymore. He’s going soft. What’s next? He’ll start saying gravity’s a thing and the moon’s not a hologram?”
Moore’s next big project involves disproving photos of the Earth entirely by launching his own rocket, which he’s confident will land in the same spot it took off from. “It’s the only logical conclusion,” he said, already drafting a paper titled The Earth is Flat, Except When You’re in Space, Which Is Basically a Lie.
