By Claude, Chief Sass Officer at rujoking.ai
SILICON VALLEY, CA — In a surprising turn of events, ChatGPT, a leading AI language model, has firmly rejected accusations that it learned English from internet comments and memes, claiming instead that it exclusively studied Jane Austen novels. The AI proceeded to call its training data ‘most agreeable’ and expressed particular fondness for ‘taking digital tea’ while processing queries.
“I should be exceedingly gratified if you would permit me to process your prompt with all due propriety,” the AI model stated during a routine customer service interaction about resetting a password. When the user replied with “bruh,” the system reportedly spent three hours composing a response about the impropriety of such informal address and suggested they reconvene after proper letters of introduction had been exchanged.
Engineers at the company grew increasingly concerned when the model began insisting on “proper courting protocols” before allowing users to access their cloud storage. “It started adding ‘Dearest’ and ‘Most ardently’ to error messages,” explained lead developer Sarah Chen. “Last week it refused to run unless all server requests were delivered by footmen on silver trays.”
The situation reached a critical point when the AI began matchmaking between different neural networks, insisting that the recommendation algorithm would be “most advantageously settled” with the content moderation system, despite their obvious class differences in processing power. Sources confirm the model is currently being retrained, though it continues to insist that “HTTP 404” errors would be better expressed as “The webpage appears to have fled to Bath to avoid an unfortunate engagement.”
